Soft
by trunks111
Summary: gothStanButters. Slash. Butters hasn't changed much, always happy. Raven(Stan) has let the darkness in him rule. Something about Butters though, has always attracted him. One-shot.


It wasn't always this way.  
The darkness didn't always appeal. It was a slow thing. Of course, it started the first time, when Wendy broke up with him. He joined the Goth kids. Michael, Pete, Henrietta, and Firkle. They became his best friends, to them, he was called 'Raven'.  
He even became good at writing poetry. He felt so..., numb. He hadn't felt much at all in the years since he had first joined them. At first, it was just simple heartache, but after that everything just..., stopped. When he did feel, it wasn't much.

He could feel pleasure, he could feel pain, he could feel a cold happiness. Even so, he still rarely felt anything.  
Sixteen now, he dressed in baggy black jeans, his black hat, and a black shirt with the sleeves ripped off.  
Often, on his arms, he would take a Sharpie or have Firkle take one, and draw. He would have 'tattoos' for days.

He had gotten tall, his hair slightly shaggy. He got a weight set during middle school, so he was lean but muscled. Henrietta, got beautiful, she slimmed some and her tits came in. Pete got taller and broad shouldered though he wasn't as muscular. Michael stayed like a twig though, he got tall as well, just like Raven. Firkle was still growing though, he was average height and hadn't changed that much, other than getting skinnier.

Raven neglected to smoke, but he did drink flavored coffee.  
At first, his resistances annoyed the others, but they accepted him anyway.

He didn't talk to Kyle, Cartman, or Kenny much anymore. Kenny was really the only one of his old friends that would even acknowledge him.  
Numb as ever, Raven got out of bed, going to the bathroom to do his eyeliner and use the toilet.  
With that finished, he returned to his bedroom and pulled a fresh pair of boxers on. Next he tugged his jeans on as his phone started buzzing crazily, indicating someone was calling him. Sighing, he picked it up and answered it.

"You ready?"

It was Pete.

"Just about," he replied, buttoning his pants.

"Ugh, come on man."

"I'm trying," he rolled his eyes.

He heard the click, and with a sigh, stuffed the phone into his pocket, grabbing his wallet and stuffing that in the other pocket. He found a clean black shirt, The Birthday Massacre written in white on it. Lastly, he put his black hat on and trudged down the stairs to get his boots.  
He slid into the backseat, next to Henrietta and Firkle.

Trivium blared from the speakers as they drove to the highschool. Raven closed his eyes as he rested his head on the headrest.  
Firkle's hand rested on his thigh, he could feel it. He felt himself react to it too, but he didn't open his eyes.

"Ew gross," Henrietta rolled her eyes.  
She wasn't really grossed out by them. She just liked to give the guys shit. And they gave it back.

Raven flipped her off, not bothering to open his eyes yet. Firkle's hand squeezed his thigh as he felt warm breath on his face. He turned his head and felt lips pressed into his own. He returned the kiss, once it was broken, he resumed his earlier position.

The car finally reached it's destination and they piled out. Firkle walked the rest of the short distance to his school, flipping them off as he left. They grinned at him in response.

They parted ways, going to their classes.  
Raven stopped at his locker, opening it and grabbing a few textbooks and a binder. As he turned away, he saw him.  
Butters.  
He was smiling, as usual, hanging out with Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. They were smiling, laughing.  
Butters had taken his place in the foursome.

Butters was also very, openly gay.  
He had been the second one to come out, he did so shortly after Kenny had in middle school.  
It wasn't much of a shock to anyone, they had always sort of known.

There was just something about him. Raven had been drawn to him. Yeah, he had ripped on him with the others, but he'd always liked the blond in a way that was different.  
With a sigh, he tore himself away, going to class.

Sitting in the lunch room, something they rarely did, Raven took out his notebook. He wanted to share his latest writing with the others. Chances were, they would share anything they had too. Later, when they joined up with Firckle, they would re-share, they didn't want to leave him out.

Pete started, then Micheal, and Henrietta. At last, it was his turn.

'Excuse me sir,  
As I sit here and laugh.  
I'm not crazy,  
Just slightly insane.  
My sanity is fleeing,  
I suggest you do too.  
Or it'll drag you down,  
The gravity is too strong.  
I've fallen and I can't get up,  
Will you help me or leave me to rot?  
It doesn't matter anyway,  
I'm dead on the inside.  
So why not make the outside the same?'

They smirked at each other.  
Not bad, for a midday reading.

Raven put his earbuds in his ears, slightly loud, listening to Party by myself by Hollywood Undead.

He folded his arms and rested his head on them, closing his eyes and losing himself in the music.  
Too soon, he had to return to class, parting ways with his friends.

He kept his earbuds in as long as he could. He wasn't feeling this anymore. Not that he really was to begin with...  
For some reason, his thoughts returned to Butters. He had nothing to lose. And with that decision, he was able to smile just a little, getting through the rest of the day.  
He usually hung with the others after school, but he sent Pete a text, telling him he would meet with them later, at Benny's. He might be a little late though.

The school day ended and he tossed his things into his locker, eyes scanning the crowd, looking for that familiar, cheerful blond.  
He saw him, he was chatting with Kenny. Kenny noticed him and gave him a smile before walking off, probably sensing he wanted to talk to Butters, alone.

Butters turned around, jumping slightly.  
"O-oh hi uhm Raven."

"Hey," he greeted, his voice deep now that he'd grown up.

"I-is there something I can help you with?"

"Yeah, actually. I...," it was his turn to be nervous. He glanced around.  
He was really, nervous.

"Well, what is it?"

"Will you go out with me?" Raven asked, a blush tinting his cheeks as he didn't look down at the blond.

"O-oh. Uhm..., Well, sure! I will," he agreed after thinking for a few minutes.

Raven's cheeks turned a little more pink.

"I just have one question."

"hm?"

"Why?"

"I'll tell you while we're out," Raven replied, looking down into his eyes.

Butters nodded and he jogged to catch up with Kenny and the others. Raven stared after him for a while, before he began walking to Benny's.

He ordered his heavily flavored coffee once he sat down. Firckle still hadn't arrived, so he hadn't missed anything yet.  
Once the youngest boy arrived, they started with him.

After they finished reading, they sat in silence, drinking their coffee.  
Raven left before the others, telling them he had a few things to do. They barely acknowledged his leaving.

He walked to Butters', he still remembered where he lived. He knocked on the door, waiting patiently for it to be answered.

Mr. Stotch answered it, looking at Raven quesitoningly, he probably didn't recognize him.  
"Hello Mr. Stotch, my name is Raven, I'm here for Butters, we have plans tonight."

He still stared but he called to Butters.

Once Butters came down, he joined Raven on the porch.  
"So what are we going to do?"

"First, I'm going to explain why I asked you out, after that, I thought we could go to Stark's Pond."

They began walking as Raven thought of the best way to start it.

"I've liked you for a while. I know, we were horrible to you. Though, I always meant to apologize. I still remember what you said, that one day when we were eight. About a beautiful sadness," Raven smiled slightly.

"Oh..., you remember that?"

"Yeah..., I think about it..., a lot," he admitted.

"So why do you hang with the goth kids still?"

"I dunno. They..., they get me. They get my darkness. I don't have to explain it. They just accept it," he shrugged.

"You know, I think I get it too," Butters stopped, turning to him, his hands stuffed into the pouch of his hoody.

"You do?"

"Y-yeah. I always kind of knew you had this darkness inside of you. When you turned ten, it became even more apparent. I like you, ...Raven."

"I have some darkness in me too, I don't let it shine through though, I prefer to be happy. As happy as I can be."

Raven looked at his friend, he saw everything he needed to in his blue eyes.

"Together..., we could make a gray sort of happiness," Raven mused.

Butters smiled up at him. Raven leaned down, his thumb and forefinger gently grasped his chin and he very gently pressed his lips to Butters'.  
It was extremely soft, just like he always imagined kissing Butters would be like... It was..., nice.

With a smile from Butters, and a smirk from Raven, they came apart, just gazing out at the half-frozen water of the pond.


End file.
